it finally happened. the moment i’d be dreaming of. a medical emergency in public. i’m weird. i have these dreams where a woman is giving birth in a 7-11 and i just happen to need a slushie at that exact moment and happen upon the scene. i immediately spring into action and grab a newspaper and some water bottles and single handedly deliver a healthy baby. OR i’m coming out of the grocery store and as i’m getting in my car, i notice the person in the car beside me looks like they’re in distress. I knock on the window and open the door at the exact moment they have a heart attack. i drag the person from the car, call to the person returning their cart to the grocery cart keeper thing and begin CPR. i save the fay.

at church on sunday, a lady passed out, fell to the floor and bashed her head pretty hard against the cold cement. people crowded around her and as i sat there looking, my cousin said “amy. here’s your chance!” and what did i do? well. nothing. i did nothing. i just sat there. i went through everything that i would be doing in my head if i were right there with her. i’d check her airway, breathing and circulation. i’d check her grips, her speech, ask about numbness or a sudden headache or vision difficulties in one or both eyes, her color. i’d ask if she was diabetic or hypoglycemic. while i’m doing a physical assessment, i’d also be bossing people around (in a friendly way of course). by the time the paramedics would arrive, i’d have a whole slew of information to give them. “47 year old female, pulse 117, respiratory rate 18, fell to the ground and hit left side of head on the cement. history of high blood pressure and fainting. no sudden headache, equal grips, no numbness in extremities. blah blah blah”. In my wildest of dreams, i’d even have just so happened to have all the equipment i need to start an IV and i’d find the perfect vein on the first try and tape a beautiful IV down with my surgical tape.

but that didn’t happen.

perhaps i need to start living in reality. because reality taught me that instead of commanding the situation and saving the day, i’m actually really good at sitting back and letting others take over.UGH.